Damp dusk embraced Tobi as she began down the path toward the stream. She felt a strange disconnect from the seriousness of her situation. Her ego swelled from knowing that she had caused such disarray. Everyone was supposed to be going to bed. They were living this same hellish nightmare, but she dared to push the boundaries to the point that anyone who was even entertaining the possibility of allying themselves with her was feeling an indignant, thudding contempt for her lack of reverence regarding anything resembling a rule. She could practically hear them seething… who did she think she was?
Tobi didn’t know and Tobi didn’t care.
She was an introverted, shy girl and those qualities had given her the gift of painful introspection. If there was one thing that she was sure of, it was the fact that nothing made any sense. No amount of longing or pandering, pushing or wishing would keep her from her ultimate fate: death. There never was, there isn’t, and there never will or would be. They would all, ultimately, own the same fate – be the stepping stones of those who would suffer from a sameness. All that ever was and ever will be. She not only felt emboldened by this realization, she felt entitled to it. She felt hatred and grudges. She felt inner conflict that she couldn’t explain and it hurt so much that she dreamed of release. It felt vulgar.
“Tobi.” A soft whisper from behind her.
Tobi had been lost in her mania and hearing Tess’s voice startled her. She felt an almost orgasmic release at hearing a kind voice after her solitude, but also felt a flash of rage at Tess’s emboldened action of speaking that was so strong that it again colored her insides with deep reds and purples. Colors so dark that they nearly blinded her to the comfort that Tess stretched out toward her.
To be continued…